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Comedy Central Other News
1973 VS. 2007
Apr 28, 2007 01:04:27
2007 VS 1973
Scenario: Jack goes duck hunting before school, pulls into school
parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1973 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's shotgun,
goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for
traumatized students and teachers.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1973 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and
end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody
expelled.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrest Johnny and Mark, &nbs p;
charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny
started it.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1973 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal.
Sits still in class.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School
gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad
gives him a whipping.
1973 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to
college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy 's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to
foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state
psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their
dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some Aspirin to school.
1973 - Mark shares Aspirin with principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - Police called; Mark expelled from school for drug
violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1973 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's case is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally, explaining that teaching English as a requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against
state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from
core curriculum.
Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns
for a living because he can't speak English.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of
July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, and blows up a red ant
bed.
1973 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with
domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed
from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch
list and is never allowed to fly again.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ +++++
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his
knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to
comfort him.
1973 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.
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