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Comedy Central Other News
Idle Thoughts of a Retirees Wandering Mind
Apr 05, 2007 10:04:26
Idle Thoughts of a Retiree's Wandering Mind
I had amnesia once -- or twice.
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Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
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All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
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If the world were a logical place,
men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.
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What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
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They told me I was gullible and I believed them.
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Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home,
and when he grows up,
he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.
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Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
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One nice thing about egotists ... they don't talk about other people.
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My weight is perfect for my height ... which varies.
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I used to be indecisive. Now, I'm not sure.
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The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
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How can there be self-help groups?
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If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
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Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground,
and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
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Is it me, or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?
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